A New Season Unfolds

As I sip my coffee while feeling the cool morning air and watching the first hints of autumn colors I sense that a season is changing with my mother as well. She is slipping away from me a little more each visit.  Knowing this has made me look harder for the moments I can savor.

Even though she will give the name of one of her sisters when asked who I am, she still knows that I am her daughter.  The name just escapes her.  As I sit beside her and hold her hand or brush her hair, I talk to her.  Every once in a while there will be a light in her eyes letting me know that she understands a little of what I am telling her.

On my last visit I kissed her cheek and said, "I love you".   It thrilled my heart to hear her softly reply, "I love you".  It is a rare moment when she can string three words together.

In my devotions and studying this month I was challenged with a statement that cut to the core of my being.  It was that we need to savor the moments of care giving and not just endure them.  As I reflected on this I knew that in the challenge of struggling with dressing Mom or handling one of her delusional moments I had shown love and patience but I had not savored the time.  I had endured it.

Facing this reality caused me to ask myself how to change this.  There is only one way that I have found.  I have to allow myself to grieve the losses as they come.  God can then heal my heart and strengthen me for the rest of the journey.  Over time I have been doing this but I have stopped short of pushing in with God until I once again feel joy.  God has made a provision for my comfort.  After being comforted, I once again can experience the joy that I need to savor the moments of caregiving. 

Praise to the God of All Comfort  2Corinthians 1:3-4

 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.